Where you have SO MUCH you planned to do, and somehow the day slips away and you miss out on many of those things?

Or how about one where you know you should be making dinner, but you're glued to facebook instead?

Or maybe one where you should be dealing with the crazy child spinning in circles at your feet, but instead you write a new blog entry?

Or maybe, just maybe, you had a day where you took your child to lunch and he told you that HE was the parent and HE was going to spank YOU if YOU were naughty?!

Or maybe you visited your husband at work and stayed so long that you had to ask your neighbors to see your daughter off the bus and you didn't get to ANY of the grocery shopping you had planned?

Was that you? Or was it me?! I'll never tell .... :)

And I feel darn right guilty about it! I woke from a VERY restless night of sleep, and got up in time to see Claire off to the bus. As she's walking out the door, the phone rings - my Monte is calling to inform me that school has been cancelled today due to the extreme cold. So I yell outside for Claire to come back, she does so, changes into her jammies, and we both crawl back in bed. Perfect morning, right?

WRONG.

My boys were fighting over a video game this morning and one of them decided to resolve the fight by punching the other in the head. Nice. My youngest was just completely out of sorts and throwing fits from the get-go, which left me more than irritated! So I dealt with them as I felt was necessary, then the phone rang again!

Once again - it was my Monte, just calling to see how my morning had gone. After telling him how completely ANGRY I was about everything that happened, I know he was sitting on the other end of the line, searching desperately for something to cheer me up. He reminded me of my stressful days of managing the physical therapy clinic. He reminded me that there's plenty of things to do with the kiddos on this wickedly cold day. I know he was searching for SOMETHING to make me happy, and I was being no help whatsoever. I was in a funk, and I was bound and determined to stay there.

After hanging up with him, I finally got my youngest to eat his breakfast - I told the older three to keep an eye on him while I hopped in the shower. That's when I heard it - the most precious, sincere voice that I have ever heard - speaking directly to my heart.

"Daughter, patience is a virtue that you must hold. Cast ALL of your anxieties on ME and do not fear."

I broke down. I cried - a lot. I have never felt like more of a failure as a new step-mom as I did right before I got into the shower this morning. Once I took the time to still myself - still my crazy mind and still my heart - and truly LISTEN for God in the midst of my crazy ... it was then that He showed himself to me. It was then that I was reminded that I can do ALL things through Him who gives me strength.

This morning is one I'm not necessarily proud of, but it is one that I'm moving forward from - I've asked my step-children to forgive me for my harshness (to which they replied "You weren't harsh or mean!" ... my goodness I love children!) and I have sent an email to my amazing husband to tell him just how much I love him.

And I am continually reminding myself that, with God, ALL things are possible!!

After reading Melissa's blog, I felt compelled to join in and share my White Trash Wednesday story. This past week, Monte and I were making sandwiches for the kids. Our oldest three had eaten while the youngest was napping. They got done eating, threw the remains of their sandwiches in the garbage and scooted off to play. Then our 'Baby Bald Head' woke up and was ready for a sandwich. What does Monte do? He reaches in the garbage and pulls out the 'perfectly good cheese', wipes it off, and puts it on Colin's sandwich! Nasty!!!!!

This morning, I absolutely did NOT talk to my sister on the phone and let Ellis entertain Colin until he had to leave for school. Nope, not me.

I did NOT put Colin back to bed after breakfast because he was being grumpy.

I did not then bring Colin to my neighbor's house so I could go grocery shopping in peace ... and I did not get that idea from Colin himself!

I did NOT tear apart my whole kitchen while trying to put away the groceries I bought - nope!

I did not tell Colin he could NOT go to sleep at 3:30 this afternoon, just so I can have an easier time getting him to sleep tonight!

I am not currently avoiding doing laundry by writing this blog.

I am not at all anxious for my husband to get home so Claire and I can run errands. Nope - not me!

I am not at all loving my very first 'Not me Monday'!!! :)