My Beautiful Days

This past week we were up north at a cabin on a lake in central Minnesota - just the seven of us, with nothing on our agenda but relaxation and time to spend together.  It really was a wonderful week away - we spent a lot of time fishing, swimming, making meals and taking walks among other things. Ellis, Colin and Iain proudly display their morning catch! It was during one of our walks that I learned a parenting lesson that I felt all the way down to my toes.  We had been walking for a couple of miles and I really had to use the bathroom, so we stopped in to a local resort and Monte and the kids played in the game room while I headed to the lobby in search of a restroom.  On my way back out through the lobby I was caught behind a family of three, slowly meandering their way through the hallway toward the exit.  Since I didn't want to be rude and rush around them I, too, slowed my pace and drifted through the hallway toward the door.  I watched the couple...

No, I don't mean a conversation with myself.  I mean a conversation with Kelley.  She was my four oldest children's mother (so, if I were being technical, my step-children's mom).  She was killed in a snowmobiling accident when my oldest was 10 and my youngest was 2.  She was a phenomenal woman - a loving wife, sister, daughter, friend - and most of all, an incredibly devoted mother.  I often wonder what a conversation with her would be like. Kelley had one very beautiful smile, and my kids tell me she loved hats! I imagine that we would sit down with our cups of coffee and, all jealousy aside over both of us so dearly loving Monte, I think we would have a great conversation.   Kelley and the kids (from left to right) Iain, Colin, Ellis and Claire on the day of Colin's baptism. There are a lot of questions that I would love to ask her.  I would love to know what her dreams were for her children.  I would love to know where she e...

I've been thinking a lot lately about my role as a step-mom.  From the start, my role consisted of getting to know the kids as individuals and as a whole.  It involved lots of time learning about their personalities and their individual idiosyncrasies, what made them happy and what triggered meltdowns.  It involved playing and reading and snuggling, and oftentimes learning to accept the fact that they wanted their distance.  It involved loving completely while that love was returned at arms length.  It involved learning to be a parent, while not overstepping the boundaries of respecting their mama's memory.  It involved many hours of intense prayer - times of crying out to God to show me how He wanted me to be a parent, and times of learning His love for me and my family and, in turn, showing that love to my kids. But how could anyone NOT love these kids?! Photo taken in 2009, courtesy of Moments In Time Photography The reason this has been on my...

Monte and I made a pretty big decision this year regarding Valentine's Day: we weren't going to hire a babysitter and go out.  Instead, we decided that we were going to make the day about celebrating our kids and showing them that this holiday doesn't have to be about the romantic love that it is made to seem, but instead we can celebrate the love we have in our families and, most importantly, God's amazing, unfailing love. Best.  Idea.  Ever. We had so much fun celebrating the kids, and from their responses, I think they had a lot of fun, too!  They all woke up to a small card and a gift box full of Hershey's Kisses - but little did they know that was the least of the surprises they were going to have. Shortly before they arrived home from school, I hurriedly made some heart-shaped cinnamon rolls for them to enjoy them as an after-school snack (and yes, I cheated and bought the ready-to-bake rolls instead of making them from scratch!). The cinnamon rolls be...

There are times in my short-lived parenting life that I realize I am learning the importance of parenting with compassion, especially when it comes to disciplining.  Last night was a prime example of the need for more compassion and understanding.  You see, Monte and I were out on a date night (can you say "Costco here we come!"?) and Claire was watching her younger brothers.  All was going well until my cell phone rang.  Due to the fact that we were in an extremely loud restaurant at the time, I had to step outside to take the call.  It was Claire calling me because she had a situation on her hands that she didn't know how to deal with.  See, Iain and Ellis had some friends over (strike number one: no friends are allowed at our house if there isn't an adult at home), and she said that they were all downstairs in the boys' room (strike number two: definitely no friends allowed in the house  when there are no adults at home) making prank phone calls. ...

Recently, while wandering through the pages of my own blog, I clicked on my "Stepmom Moments" link and read through all of the posts pertaining to that subject.  It was a true time of reflection for me, a time to see just how far I have come in the fourteen months that I have been a wife and a stepmom.  The transition into this role was a very hard one for me to go through and something that I often questioned; not necessarily the fact of whether or not I should be in this role, because I know I was made for it, but whether or not I should have left my job as quickly as I did.  In the beginning, I longed to go back to work entirely because I knew how to do that.  There weren't many surprises that came in the day that I wasn't trained to handle.  In my stepmom role, however, there are surprises each and every day that I am slowly but surely learning how to deal with. The great thing, however, is that I have realized how far I truly have come.  I have a bet...

For as long as I can remember, I've prided myself on the fact that I'm pretty organized with my schedule.  It's a rare occurrence that I miss an appointment, double book myself or completely FORGET what I have going on without a calendar in front of me.  Maybe I should rephrase that to say, "it was  a rare occurrence ...".  You see, once I got married and began managing not just my own calendar, but the calendars of six people, that's when I realized what the phrase "Stepmom Brain" means! It just so happens that this topic was on my mind recently, which worked out wonderfully since JuiceBoxJungle  is teaming up with Verizon  to sponsor this blog post!  They asked me to talk about how I do or do not use my smartphone.  Truth be told, I never felt the need for a smartphone - they just looked so cool  that I totally wanted one.  Good thing my hubby has the connections with the right people, because shortly before our engagement, he was ab...

If there is anything that I have learned about myself recently, it is the fact that I internalize far more than I would ever care to admit. By no means is this meant to be a way to say that I'm unhappy because I'm NOT . What I am, however, is someone who is realizing that her opinions and feelings about the things surrounding her are far more intense and extreme than she ever realized. I thought I was prepared to be a wife and a step-mom. I was certain that it was going to be a breeze. I'm not saying that I expected to never have conflict, to never have a hard day. I am saying, however, that I expected the transition from working woman to stay-at-home step-mom to be ... well easy . Guess what? It's not. Managing the Physical Therapy clinic was easy - it was bookwork. It was something I was trained in and something I was good at. Managing our home, however, is NOT. I will admit it: I DON'T LIKE TO COOK!!! I used to enjoy it, I truly did. Now that it...

My meeting yesterday (at my church with a wonderful woman named Monica) went far better than I anticipated it would! Granted, I completely understand the fact that God truly does have me in His arms and He is guiding me on my path of life - but in the midst of this very lonely period I've been going through (during the daytime when it's just me and Colin here), it's been really hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. SO - Monica and I met and spent awhile talking about me and my upbringing, my Christian walk and what exactly brought me to the place I am. Then we talked about where I would best fit in what ministries. I expressed my desire to be able to be a part of serving as well as being served (as I just love to help in small groups - I always have!). She shared a vision with me that she believed I would be a very important part of. She said that our church is looking to start a small group for people in my situation - for blended families who are trying to...

As many of you know, for the last five and a half months (almost six, holy moly!) I have been in the midst of transitioning from single woman working in the corporate world to stay-at-home step-mom. As many of you also know, this transition has NOT been easy. I am by no means saying that staying home with my step-kids has been a drag, because it hasn't ... I'm just saying that it has been a huge moment of self discovery for me. I'm learning how to be a parent, which I think will come more naturally after awhile. I'm learning how to cook - and this is where I found myself getting stuck. When I was single, I had no problem cooking (by my definition) gourmet meals for myself - and grocery shopping happened only once every three to four weeks (with a stop in between to pick up some fresh produce). Now, I continually find myself grocery shopping at least once per week and I find myself frustrated with not being able to cook the great meals that I want to and not bein...