A Letter

Dear people who work at the city in which I live,

*Insert tone that is dripping with sarcasm here*

I am writing to let you know that my husband and I are happy thrilled beyond elated at the fact that you have taken this long to approve our building permit.  It makes me smile to know that our demolition permit was immediately granted, thus the removal of our garage happened in a big hurry - but now, we have waited for the past 12 business days, which translates into about 16 days, for you to approve and distribute our building permit.  No worries about the fact that everything is ready to go, the contractor and all the workers needed have set aside time and are prepared to do this job, the materials have been ordered and are ready to go, and our building permit is the only thing holding us up.  I love that!  I just love that you are the only thing delaying our addition from being built.  It's almost as if you are under the assumption that the people we have paid to do this job don't have better things to do than wait around for you to smile graciously upon us and grant us this permit.  No worries that we were told it would only take 10 days, but after day 10 were redirected to understand that it takes 10+ days.  Oh, please excuse the fact that we did not see the plus.  So, by all means, please keep sitting on this permit - take your time in getting it to us because you MUST know that we have no desire to get the building of our addition started.

I can't imagine that you wonderful workers in our city have nothing to do and thus the approval of our permit is being dragged out because you need to fill up your time sheets.  No, definitely not.  I know that you are all incredibly important and you have so much on your plate that our request for an addition is not a priority.  I understand.  I completely understand.

So, on that note, I am writing simply to wish you a merry Christmas and to tell you that I hope that you have wonderful celebrations with family.  Have some eggnog, kick your feet up and relax.  You deserve it, city worker.

Sincerely,